love and time..

Love and time

The warm smell of coffee travels up my nostrils and my vision clears, as does my thinking. The picture frame of grass and green leaves that I just left behind at the open window brings comfort: I can feel the soft touch of the leaves against each other, murmuring, whispering, as the wind flows past them gracefully like a ballet dancer in a slow, moving poetic ecstasy. I wanted to hold all the beauty around me, to curl my fingers around the edges and gather it all in the inside of my palm…..while memories floated fast, some long forgotten, some quivering in a dream-state, struggling to come out of their soft casings into freedom.

I remember myself as a twelve-year-old girl mesmerized by the ravaging wind outside, that cut down trees and blocked pathways, scattering rain just before the storm arrived in its full rage. I remember I was shocked, mesmerized, seduced by this stark, absolute power of nature and the way everything else would bow before it. I loved, during that time, red earth-dry and also wet with rain, the wind in the trees at night, the sight of the empty street on both sides of which the small shadowy houses slept peacefully at night. And also the stars in the sky…so still, so benign, as if looking down kindly at the beautiful scene below. And there I would be, looking at everything and wondering at it all…terribly in love with it., as if I would find some clue to an infinite treasure if I kept looking. all around me, well enough.

And now, so many years later, suddenly tonight by the window, the memory of that old force came back to me in the middle of so much coffee and conversation struggling to overtake each other in the sunconscious. I wonder if I have missed many times already, the sound of such a memory which might have come knocking by, drowned by the ever-present conversations within me, and without too.Nevetheless, its is a delicious, wonderful feeling-this putting the pen to paper, the feel of starchy paper beneath my fingers, the movement of the pen on its smooth planes, as if with a life of its own…

I wonder if this silent euphoria in my mind is a result of a thirst quenched after so long a time, or was it always there, crouching just outside the perimeter of the seen and the heard.

The open window has always been a comforting sight, a reminder of many things…tonight, it is a reminder of dreams ,of happiness, of exciting knowledge just round the corner, of childhood, of trees, stones and leaves .And of infinite happiness.